What is a Yes Day?
It is a day when parents say yes to any requests from their children. Parents are not allowed to say no to anything their kids request. It was popularized by actress Jennifer Garner in the Yes Day movie. Originally the idea comes from the children’s book Yes Day! by Amy Krouse Rosenthal.
Should I Let my Child Have a Yes Day?
It is totally up to you. Some parents say that they are a good idea because during these days they connect with their children, strengthening their relationship. Yes Days are also a way to create fun and long-lasting memories with your children.
Parents also argue that Yes Days are a good idea because children hear ‘No’ so many times a day every day, that having one day when they do not hear this word, helps both parents and children to relax. It is a chance for the whole family to break up the routine. Yes Days are all about having quality time and family fun.
There Are Two Ways to Have a Yes Day
- You tell your child and spend time planning it as a family
- You do not tell your child, but you intentionally say yes to as many of their requests as you can
What Is the Best Age to Start Yes Days?
Probably the best age is around 5 or 6. At this time, children can understand the rules and that it is a special day. They are less likely to ask for crazy things (or at least not as many!).
How Does a Yes Day Work?
Kids choose what they want to do the entire day. Adults set rules but children are pretty much free to plan the day as they want. However, it is crucial that you set some ground rules from the beginning. Otherwise, the day can go crazy.
Yes Day Rules
- Parents choose the day that it will happen
- No requests can result in a permanent consequence (e.g., getting a tattoo or buying a pet)
- Set a budget per child for the day
- Place a travel limit
- Activities cannot be unsafe (e.g., eating pancakes if the child cannot have gluten)
- Set a limit on screen time
- Set a limit on how late children can stay up
- Parents have the final say on whether a request is accepted
- Don’t forget to finish the day by discussing as a family what you all have enjoyed the most, things you have learnt from the day, and by showing gratitude for having had a good time
Twenty Ideas for a Yes Day
- Go camping
- Go on a road trip
- Have a movie marathon
- Wear pyjamas all day
- Have a no chores day
- Go to a zoo, the local park, a museum, or a fair
- Go to a favourite restaurant
- Eat only favourite foods all day, including junk food
- A board game marathon
- Special bedtime story
- Extra screen time
- Have a picnic in the living room
- Have a themed dress-up day
- Bake cookies or make ice-cream
- Have a water balloon fight
- Go to a theme park
- Play video games
- Have a dance party
- Build a maze in the living room
- Have a spa day at home
How Often Should You Have a Yes Day?
Yes Days should not be done too often, otherwise they will not feel special. Also, you do not want your child to think that they can do whatever they want all the time. Let’s not forget that boundaries are really important for children.
If Yes Days are something that works for you and your family, you may choose to establish it as a family tradition and have it once or twice a year.
A Yes Day can be a good idea when the family is going through a rough patch, like a divorce, moving, or the loss of a family member.
How Does a Child Earn a Yes Day?
Ideally, children should not earn these days. These days should be all about family connection.
Finally…
Whether you have yes day or not is totally up to you. You are not a better or worse parent whether you have them or not.
If you have an ongoing parenting struggle or want to build a foundation to feel more confident in your parenting, get in touch with me or go to our website.
Love,
Ana
