“What do you think about positive consequences for children as a tactic? I know discipline is important, but I’m also praising my daughter (she’s two) when she does something good unprompted. Is that okay? I kind of feel like I’m using my experience in dog training on my kid and I don’t want to mess up lol”
Praise is an excellent way to teach our children what is right and what is wrong. Very often, as parents, we focus on the things they do wrong (e.g., “Don’t touch that!”; “Stop doing that!”) but we ignore them when they behave well. Praising them is a great method to teach them right and wrong. It is better to use praise in a very specific way, so they know what behaviours they should repeat. So, instead of saying “You are a such a good girl”, tell her “Well done for tidying up so nicely”.
When we praise our children, we are disciplining them. Very often, we think that discipline is about punishment, but it is much more than that. The aim of discipline is to teach our children what is wrong and what is right. So, praise is an element of discipline.
So, keep praising your daughter when she behaves well. It is definitely a good idea!
You can also find these articles useful:
How to Discipline Your Child: An Age-By-Age Guide
How to Discipline a 3 Year-Old?
Is Smacking Your Child Ever OK?
Let’s Be Honest: Who Doesn’t Ever Yell at Their Kids?
I wish you both all the very best.
Love,
Ana
“How to discipline a 3 year old – I don’t want to be lax but he’s also acting up so much lately.”
How to discipline our children is probably one of the trickiest things. Knowing when you are being too lax, or too strict is not always easy.
Here are some important things for you to remember when disciplining your 3-year-old:
- Remember that discipline always works best when you have a warm and loving relationship with your child.
- Use praise: very often we only focus on the things that our children don’t do well or that they get wrong, and we ignore the things they do well. Try to focus on the things that he does well and praise him: “Look how well you have tidied up your toys!”, “Well done, you have shared so nicely with your brother!”. Think that our children usually want to please us, and they are likely to repeat the behaviours that they know we like.
- Be consistent: children do better when they have a clear and structured routine. Knowing what comes next makes them feel safe and they are less likely to act out.
- Do not smack him, and as much as you can, try not to shout at him. If you are losing your patience, it’s better to leave the room a few minutes and come back feeling calmer.
- If he is throwing tantrums, do not give in. If the tantrum has already started, make sure that he cannot hurt himself, give him a bit of space, and wait for it to finish. Do not give in because if you do, you are reinforcing his behaviour, and he will learn that if he throws a tantrum he will get what he wants. Once the tantrum has finished, give him a hug and do something together.
- Think one step ahead of him. At this stage, try to be proactive. Distract him before he sees the jar of biscuits, don’t take him to run errands close to his nap time, and redirect him whenever he is getting close to doing something dangerous.
You may also find these articles interesting:
How to Discipline Your Child: An Age-by-Age Guide
Is Smacking Your Child Ever OK?
How to Stop Yelling at my Kids
Let’s Be Honest: Who Doesn’t Ever Yell at their Kids?
I hope this information helps! I wish you and your little one the very best.
Love,
Ana
