“Hi Dr. Ana, do you have any advice on how to deal with a narcissistic parent? I am an adult daughter with her own life, but my narcissistic mother is making things miserable by constantly criticizing and belittling me and trying to still control everything in my world and make it about her. I appreciate it!”
I am sorry to hear you are struggling with this. It must be difficult for you.
This type of problem usually appears because there are no clear boundaries between you and your mother. I strongly recommend that you seek the support of a therapist. The therapist will help you define what your boundaries are, communicate them to your mum, and be prepared to enforce consequences if your boundaries are crossed. The therapist will also give you the tools to manage your emotions and thoughts.
I would be very happy to help you find a therapist that will understand your needs.
I wish you the very best.
Ana
Related articles:
What Is a Narcissistic Parent?
Adult Children of Emotionally Inmature Parents
“How to co-parent with a narcissist? I’m at my whits end with him”
I am not sure if your co-parent has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder or if you are using the term ‘narcissist’ to describe someone who is very self-centred.
In any case, here are some useful tips for you to take:
- Accept that he probably won’t change.
- Set clear boundaries. Draw the line on what is OK and what is not.
- Make a parenting plan. Doing so will help you to establish clear boundaries and rules and it will hopefully help avoid future disagreements. There are some examples in the link below.
- Do not talk badly about him to your child. Refer about him in a respectful way. Try to appreciate his good points and not linger on his faults.
- Consider therapy. If handling it on your own, is getting too much, therapy might be a good idea. The therapist will help you manage difficult scenarios and will also help you manage your feelings. If your child is having a tough time, counselling for him may be a good idea. Get in touch with me if you want to explore this idea.
You may also find these articles interesting:
What Is a Narcissistic Parent?
Create a Successful Parenting Plan (& Parenting Template Ideas)
Co-parenting is not easy but co-parenting with someone who is extremely self-centred can feel like an impossible task. I wish you and your family all the very best.
Love,
Ana
