“How to explain divorce to a child (my wife left us and i dont know how to tell my 6-y/o son)”
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. From your message I understand that your wife left without an explanation or saying goodbye.
You need to tell your son that sometimes couples do not want to live with each other anymore and that his mum has left because of this.
Take his lead and tell him the information he asks. Do not give him information he has not asked for. Do not overwhelm him. Be honest with him. If he asks about something that you do not know. Simply tell him the truth. Tell him that you don’t know but that you are with him. Always.
You need to reassure him that nothing he has done has made his mum leave. This is not his fault.
Your son may worry that you may also leave. Tell him that you will never leave him. That you will always be there for him.
Your son will probably find it difficult to adapt to this new situation. He may start showing regressive behaviours (e.g., waking up at night, wetting the bed, sucking his thumb). Be there for him, show him love and compassion. Validate his feelings. Tell him that you understand that he is finding it difficult and that it will get better. He may find it difficult focusing at school and paying attention to tasks.
He may become very clingy with you because he worries that you will also leave. Be patient with him. Reassure him that you will never leave. Whenever you leave him (to go to work or run an errand), explain to him where you are going, what you are doing, when you are coming back, and who is taking care of him while you are away. Try to stick to your word.
Talk to his teacher. Let them know what is going on at home. Build a strong support system for your son between you and his teacher.
Your son will have feelings of loss of control and uncertainty. It is important that you keep the same routine that he always has had. This will give him a sense of security and control.
I hope this information helps. Do please get in touch with me if you would like to have a session to discuss how you can best support him. I am here to help.
Finally, remember that this is a very difficult moment for your son but also for you. You need to be strong to be able to take care of your son. Try to eat well, do some exercise, and see friends. If you need some extra support, please do get in touch with me as well.
I wish you and you son all the very best.
Love,
Ana
