“Which parenting style rewards children for following the rules?“
Authoritative parenting is the parenting style that is more likely to reward children for following the rules. Authoritative parenting is considered the gold standard of parenting. Authoritative parents are warm, caring, and establish clear limits for their children. Children understand those limits and rules and what the consequences are when they break them. Parents take into consideration their children’s opinions and feelings but ultimately, they are the ones who make the decisions.
There are hundreds of studies showing that children whose parents are authoritative, tend to do better in life. These children tend to be well adjusted, get on well with their peers and friends, do well in school and have high self-esteem. Children feel safe and secure because their parents are consistent and establish clear routines
The issue of rewarding children for good behaviour is somewhat controversial. Some people say that rewarding them is not a good idea because it promotes extrinsic and not intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation is doing an activity because of the satisfaction it brings you, rather than for an external reward. For example, reading a book because you are interested in its story, or learning to ride a bike because of the sense of achievement.
In contrast, extrinsic motivation is pursuing an activity for an external reward, such as a material item or someone’s praise. For example, sharing with friends in exchange for more screen time or sweets. Ideally, we want our children to be intrinsically motivated.
A good way to reward children for good behaviour is using praise. As parents very often, we ignore good behaviour and we only focus on negative behavior. Children love their parents to be happy with them, so the more you let them know that you like what they are doing, the more likely they are to repeat it. When you praise them, be specific. Rather than saying: “You are such a good boy”, say “Look how well you are sharing with your sister, well done!”. This way they know exactly what they are doing right and are more likely to repeat it.
So, praise your child when they do things right. Try to be an authoritative parent as often as you can.
Here are some other articles that you may find useful:
Parenting Styles: What Are They and Why Do They Matter?
Reward System for Children: How Do They Work?
I hope this information helps. I wish you and your family all the very best,
Love,
Ana
