“I want full custody of my son, but i’m a teen guy and I’m worried that i won’t have the emotional depth that a woman has, even though his mom is not wanting custody herself”
This must be a very difficult situation for you but the fact that you are here asking for advice shows that you want to do what is right for your baby.
Men and women are equally capable of taking care of children. It does not mean that just because you are a guy you will be worse at it than your baby’s mum.
What is difficult is being a teen dad. It is difficult because you are not fully grown, your brain has not finished developing, so taking care of a baby will be hard.
My advice is that you educate yourself about how children develop (e.g., how to feed him, how much they should sleep, what is ‘normal’ development….). Knowing about it, will make you feel more secure and confident about what you are doing. At REC Parenting you can find a wealth of science-based information about children’s development.
It is also very important that you have a support system around you: your parents, other family members, friends… you will need people to talk to, people to help you. It is also good for your baby to have other adults in his life that love him and take care of him.
Manage your expectations: the beginning will be hard, very hard. As you get the hang of it, things will become easier. It is important you establish a routine for you and your baby.
I don’t know where you live but you will probably experience people judging you and social stigma. Trust those whom you love and ignore the opinions and judgements of people not important to you.
It is also very important you take care of your own mental health. When parents struggle with their mental health, they are less able to take care of their children, they pay less attention to their children’s needs, and the quality of the family’s life gets worse.
Children who grow up with parents who struggle with their mental health, experience more stress. Growing up with a lot of stress is not good for children. So, make sure you feel strong to take care of your baby. Do ask for help if you are struggling. Struggling when caring for a baby does not make you a bad father or weak.
Have a think about how you regulate your own emotions. A big part of taking care of our children has to do with being able to regulate our own emotions. If you struggle to keep calm when you are stressed or experience frequent anger outbursts, seek help.
I leave you here some articles that I think will be helpful:
Do You Have Any Lone Parent Advice?
Parenting Advice: Advice for New Parents
Parenting Experts: How to Decide Who to Trust
How Does Parental Mental Health Affect a Child?
Do reach out if you need support. I am more than happy to support you. I wish you both all the very best.
Love,
Ana
