Category: Q&As
How to Discipline a 3 Year-Old?
Published : May 20, 2025
By Dr. Ana Aznar
“How to discipline a 3 year old – I don’t want to be lax but he’s also acting up so much lately.”
How to discipline our children is probably one of the trickiest things. Knowing when you are being too lax, or too strict is not always easy.
Here are some important things for you to remember when disciplining your 3-year-old:
- Remember that discipline always works best when you have a warm and loving relationship with your child.
- Use praise: very often we only focus on the things that our children don’t do well or that they get wrong, and we ignore the things they do well. Try to focus on the things that he does well and praise him: “Look how well you have tidied up your toys!”, “Well done, you have shared so nicely with your brother!”. Think that our children usually want to please us, and they are likely to repeat the behaviours that they know we like.
- Be consistent: children do better when they have a clear and structured routine. Knowing what comes next makes them feel safe and they are less likely to act out.
- Do not smack him, and as much as you can, try not to shout at him. If you are losing your patience, it’s better to leave the room a few minutes and come back feeling calmer.
- If he is throwing tantrums, do not give in. If the tantrum has already started, make sure that he cannot hurt himself, give him a bit of space, and wait for it to finish. Do not give in because if you do, you are reinforcing his behaviour, and he will learn that if he throws a tantrum he will get what he wants. Once the tantrum has finished, give him a hug and do something together.
- Think one step ahead of him. At this stage, try to be proactive. Distract him before he sees the jar of biscuits, don’t take him to run errands close to his nap time, and redirect him whenever he is getting close to doing something dangerous.
You may also find these articles interesting:
How to Discipline Your Child: An Age-by-Age Guide
Is Smacking Your Child Ever OK?
How to Stop Yelling at my Kids
Let’s Be Honest: Who Doesn’t Ever Yell at their Kids?
I hope this information helps! I wish you and your little one the very best.
Love,
Ana
Leave a comment
Comments
Bryantrig
2025-05-27 06:25:57
https://forum.aceinna.com/user/roscartr
Pia Satrustegui
2025-04-25 07:23:36
Hola Ana,
Qué fantástico artículo y que buenos consejos. Ha sido de una gran ayuda. Un abrazo muy fuerte
Qué fantástico artículo y que buenos consejos. Ha sido de una gran ayuda. Un abrazo muy fuerte
Dr. Ana Aznar
2025-03-31 19:41:20
Qué ilusión tu mensaje, Pia! Gracias a tí por leernos.
Pia Satrustegui
2025-03-28 10:13:56
Querida Ana,
Maravilloso artículo sobre la serie Adolescentes y consejos de gran ayuda en una etapa tan complicada de nuestros hijos , tan desprotegidos frente a las nuevas tecnologías.Es una ayuda tremenda para nosotros. Muchas gracias
Maravilloso artículo sobre la serie Adolescentes y consejos de gran ayuda en una etapa tan complicada de nuestros hijos , tan desprotegidos frente a las nuevas tecnologías.Es una ayuda tremenda para nosotros. Muchas gracias
Armani
2025-03-06 09:31:35
This is ethically wrong and I don't think it's worth the damage it will ultimately cause to the relationship. And the issues it will cause for the one being spied on. Just don't do it.
Meghan
2025-02-07 21:26:19
Is there a printable version of the article? I am a school based mental health professional and would like to share it with parents.
J
2025-02-03 10:52:04
This is such a great writeup. I think too often we get caught in a rutt of trying to categorise everything. Our daily lives are kind of dictated by categories and labels, certainly in a digital world.
I'd imagine this is quite deteremental for a childs development in the long run as nothing stays the same forever, and we shouldn't really be making these categorisations, especially towards our children.
Just live life, sometimes you'll have to be the parent that's the shoulder to cry on. The week after you may have to raise your voice a little when everyone is in a rush and you're trying to get your children's shoes on.
Just balance it all out, don't be too self critical and pick up on what your child wants and needs.
Again, great writeup!
I'd imagine this is quite deteremental for a childs development in the long run as nothing stays the same forever, and we shouldn't really be making these categorisations, especially towards our children.
Just live life, sometimes you'll have to be the parent that's the shoulder to cry on. The week after you may have to raise your voice a little when everyone is in a rush and you're trying to get your children's shoes on.
Just balance it all out, don't be too self critical and pick up on what your child wants and needs.
Again, great writeup!
Dr. Ana Aznar
2024-09-13 12:51:46
Dear Robert,
Thank you so much for your comment. I totally get what you mean. It is always difficult to have kids living with you, wanting to support them and their parents but at the same time not wanting to step in anyone's toes. If there's anything we can do to support you and your family, please do not hesitate to get in touch with us.
Ana
Thank you so much for your comment. I totally get what you mean. It is always difficult to have kids living with you, wanting to support them and their parents but at the same time not wanting to step in anyone's toes. If there's anything we can do to support you and your family, please do not hesitate to get in touch with us.
Ana
Robert Eisenbart
2024-09-10 00:43:07
Great Article! I'm a retired FNP. Years ago I taught a STEP program to parents via family court cases. I now have a daughter and her man disciplining three children 4, 8, and 10. The 10 year old has ADHD and my personal diagnosis is she's also Oppositional/Defiant. I believe the OD came from harsh discipline. All they seem to do is punish and threaten physical punishment. They say positive reinforcement didn't work however they tried it for about 2 months and then went back to punishment. I can't reason with them as "they are the parents"!! is all I hear. They all live with me and have since the oldest was about 2. Sadly I can see the other 2 developing issues like anxiety and aggression as well. Trying to show them another side of adult supervision when I have them but frustrating.
Dr. Ana Aznar
2024-09-02 20:48:07
Really glad you found it useful! Thank you for being here and for your comment.
Ana
Ana
avenue17
2024-08-30 11:17:25
I doubt it.
Dr. Ana Aznar
2024-05-17 09:55:58
Hi Donna,
sO great to have you here! Totally agree that Zara is great! What other topics would you like us to discuss?
Ana
sO great to have you here! Totally agree that Zara is great! What other topics would you like us to discuss?
Ana
Donna
2024-05-17 09:49:36
Love Zara’s ways of teaching for both parents & kids! Also so helpful. We want more!! (Please!) :D
Ana Aznar
2024-05-08 07:24:31
We are glad you found the content useful! Many thanks for being here.
Ana
Ana
Cristoj
2024-04-09 18:20:19
Great article!!!
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