How to Deal with Tantrums in 5 Year-Olds?
“Do you have advice on how to deal with tantrums in 5 year olds? He’s been in just a foul mood for the last few months.”
Tantrums are less common after age 3 but they still may happen at age 5. However, if you are worried talk to your doctor.
Tantrums are brief episodes of extreme and sometimes aggressive behaviours in response to frustration or anger. They usually include crying, hitting, throwing items, biting, pushing, going limp and breath-holding. Tantrums happen because of hunger, tiredness, illness and frustration. Therefore, prevention is the best way to avoid them.
They happen because it may still be difficult for your child to control his emotions. As your child grows and they learn to put their feelings into words, the frequency, length and severity of the tantrums decrease (don’t despair! -There is light at the end of the tunnel). In this article, I give you a few guidelines to help develop your child’s emotional competence.
If you do not manage to prevent them, there is not much you can do once the tantrum starts. The best thing to do is to wait it out. Make sure your child is safe (they sometimes bang their heads against the wall or the floor), stay close but don’t do anything. Once they finish, wipe their tears and redirect their attention to another activity.
The acronym R.I.D.D. can help you handle tantrums (easier said than done, we know):
- Remain calm
- Ignore the tantrum
- Distract the child as soon as it is over
- Do make sure your child is safe but don’t give in to demands.
Do not give in. If you give into the tantrum, you are reinforcing the behaviour and your child will know that if he throws a tantrum, he will get what he wants. We know it may be painful to watch, but the best thing for your child is for you to wait until he is done.
Tantrums and meltdowns can really push you to the limit. Try to remain as calm as you can. If you think you are going to lose it, make sure your child is safe and leave the room for a few seconds to calm yourself down. Another useful technique is to ring a friend and have a chat to distract yourself while making sure your child is safe. Or ask a neighbour to come in. And remember, this phase won’t last forever even if sometimes it feels like it.
You may find these articles useful:
Fostering Emotional Intelligence in Children: A Guide for Parents
I wish you both all the very best.
Love,
Ana
