“What is the definition of transgender in children? My granddaughter seems to think she’s a boy and is talking all about transgender but I think she’s just being raised as a tomboy.”
When a baby is born, he is assigned a sex based on his genitalia. So, if the baby has a penis and testicles, he is a boy and if he has a vagina, she is a girl. Sex is based on biology.
On the other hand, gender is socially constructed. Gender describes the roles, behaviours, expressions that a girl or a boy should have. For example, girls are meant to be gentle and sweet whereas boys are meant to be brave and strong. Ideas about gender may change over time and may be different across cultures.
A transgender child is one who feels that their gender identity does not match their sex. This feeling is consistent and persistent over time. For example, a girl who has always felt like a boy.
I am not sure how old your granddaughter is. In many cases, gender-variant behaviours or feelings disappear as children get older, often when they reach puberty. For others, these feelings continue and will go on to live in a gender different from their sex.
It is important to assess whether these feelings are causing distress in your granddaughter. If she is confused or upset about this, I would advise that she sees her doctor or a mental health professional.
And remember that the most important thing for our children is to feel loved and supported by the important adults in their life. So, tell her you love her and make her feel loved. I understand that maybe your granddaughter’s life is unfolding in a way that you did not expect but she needs to be loved and understood.
I hope this helps! If you want more support, please get in touch with me.
Love to you and your family,
Ana
