“What are your thoughts on teens having sex with teens? I want my daughter to wait until she is legal to drink before even thinking about having sex, but I’m worried that she’s just going to dive right in before she’s 21 and not tell me or be safe about it because she’s too young (she’s 17 now)” 

There is not a ‘right’ age to have sex for the first time. I totally get that you want your daughter to wait but the truth is that your daughter will probably do whatever she wants to do.  

I think that rather than trying to forbid her to have sex, you should discuss this topic with her, so she understands your concerns and the risks. Prepare her for it. And remember that it is not about having THE talk but about having little talks often.  

It would be a good idea for you two to discuss: 

  • Sexual consent  
  • Contraception 
  • STIs (sexual transmitted infections) and STDs (sexual transmitted diseases) 
  • Love: sometimes when we talk about sex, conversations can feel quite ‘mechanical’. I think it is important that we talk about how sex is best when mixed with love and a romantic relationship  

You may also find these article useful: 

Discussing Teen Sex: Talking to Your Teen About Sex 

My Teen Is Sexting: What Do I Do? 

I wish you and your daughter all the very best. 

Love,  

Ana 

Dr Ana Aznar 

Registered in England & Wales. Company No.13460950. Registered office Salatin House, 19 Cedar Road, Sutton, SM2 5DA, United Kingdom

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