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Yes. Mothers are at a higher risk of experiencing parental burnout because they often are children’s main caregivers and carry a disproportionate amount of the mental load. However, both fathers and mothers can experience burnout. This is why we call it ‘parental’ and not ‘maternal’.

What Is Parental Burnout?

Parental burnout is a syndrome characterized by three main features:

Intense exhaustion: physical, emotional, or both.

Feeling emotionally distant from one’s child.

Feeling doubtful of one’ capacity to be a good parent.

Parental burnout is not the ‘typical’ parenting stress. Parental burnout impedes parents to cope. It appears when parenting demands exceed the resources parents have available.

What Does the Research Say?

Research shows that mothers experience parental burnout more often than fathers. However, this pattern varies depending on the country and culture where parents live. This suggests that social organization of parenting, and not gender itself, drives the difference.

Why Are Mothers More Affected on Average?

Intensive mothering norms: we are raising children in a very intense manner. As a result, many mothers feel that they have to be constantly present, perfect, and patient, putting them at a higher risk of burning out.

Mothers carry the mental load: research shows how in general, mothers tend to carry most of the mental load, even in couples where both work outside the home.

Loneliness: mothers who feel lonelier are at a higher risk of experiencing parental burnout.

Reporting differences: it may be that women find it easier to verbalize they are experiencing burnout and to seek help, making burnout more visible in the case of women than men.

Does This Mean Fathers’ Don’t Experience Parental Burnout?

No. Fathers can and they do experience parental burnout. And when they do the consequences can be as serious.

When mothers and fathers carry a similar mental load and responsibilities, burnout levels between them become similar.

How Does Parental Burnout Affect Children?

It is important to understand that parental burnout does not only affect the parent, it also affects the spouse and the children.

The parent who suffers parental burnout struggles with his own mental health and is at a higher risk of developing other mental health conditions, leaving the family, and of committing suicide.

Parental burnout is negative for children because when parents are stressed, their ability to regulate their own emotions, their patience and availability, gets worse. Parents who are burnout are at higher risk of being neglectful or violent towards their children. Parental violence can range from minor to major physical or psychological aggression. Their children are more likely to experience mental health and behavioural issues, and to do worse in school.

Parental burnout also affects the spouse. It increases the intensity and frequency of spousal conflict, reduces the quality of life of family members, and strains family relations. Parents who experience burnout are also less likely to want to have more children.

Therefore, preventing parental burnout is key. We should not wait until parents experience it to tackle it. This is why parents should know what parental burnout so they can take the steps to protect themselves and to identify it and seek timely help.

A Message for Parents

Parental burnout is not a ‘mother problem’. It is a societal problem.

Mothers show higher rates of parental burnout because they are:

Held at a higher and less flexible standards

The emotional and logistics manager of the family

The main caregiver

If you think you may be experiencing burnout, get in touch with us. Our therapists are here to support you and your family.

This article is part of REC Parenting’s Complete Guide to Parental Burnout, where we explore what parental burnout is, how it develops, how it affects the whole family, and measures to tackle it effectively.

References

Mikolajczak, M., Aunola, K., Sorkkila, M., & Roskam, I. (2023). 15 years of parental burnout research: Systematic review and agenda. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 32(4), 276-283.https://doi.org/10.1177/09637214221142777

Roskam, I., & Mikolajczak, M. (2021). The slippery slope of parental exhaustion: A process model of parental burnout. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 77, 101354.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appdev.2021.101354

Roskam, I., & Mikolajczak, M. (2020). Gender differences in the nature, antecedents and consequences of parental burnout. Sex Roles, 83(7), 485-498. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-020-01121-5

Hays, S. (1998). The fallacious assumptions and unrealistic prescriptions of attachment theory: A comment on” Parents’ Socioemotional Investment in Children”. Journal of Marriage and Family, 60(3), 782-790. https://doi.org/10.2307/353546

Lebert-Charron, A., Dorard, G., Wendland, J., & Boujut, E. (2021). Who are and are not the burnout moms? A cluster analysis study of French-speaking mothers. Journal of Affective Disorders Reports, 4, 100091. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadr.2021.100091

Mikolajczak, M., Brianda, M. E., Avalosse, H., & Roskam, I. (2018). Consequences of parental burnout: Its specific effect on child neglect and violence. Child abuse & neglect, 80, 134-145.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2018.03.025

Brianda, M. E., Roskam, I., & Mikolajczak, M. (2020). Hair cortisol concentration as a biomarker of parental burnout. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 117, 104681.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2020.104681

Ren, X., Cai, Y., Wang, J., & Chen, O. (2024). A systematic review of parental burnout and related factors among parents. BMC public health, 24(1), 376.https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-024-17829-y

Bogdán PM, Varga K, Tóth L, Gróf K, Pakai A. Parental Burnout: A Progressive Condition Potentially Compromising Family Well-Being-A Narrative Review. Healthcare (Basel). 2025 Jul 4;13(13):1603. doi: 10.3390/healthcare13131603. PMID: 40648627; PMCID: PMC12249155.

Parental burnout can be reduced and sometimes prevented. Prevention is more dependent on support, context, and realistic expectations than on parenting techniques. When demands are lowered and resources increased- at social, family, and workplace levels- the risk of parental burnout decreases significantly.

Why This Question Matters So Much

burnout father sitting with baby girl on the floor at home. — S

Many parents ask this question because they have already experienced burnout and they do not want to experience it again. Others ask the question because they are tired and starting to feel fed up with parenting and they want to avoid reaching their breaking point.

Usually, fear underlies this question: “Does it mean that I have failed if I experience parental burnout?”. Rest assured that experiencing parental burnout does not mean you have failed. It can happen to any of us.

What Research Tells Us about Prevention

Research on parental burnout shows that it appears when there is a chronic imbalance between:

Resources: support, time…

Demands: logistical, emotional, relational, cognitive…

Important protective factors are:

Realistic expectations of parenting: ditch trying to be the perfect parent or becoming a parent martyr

Fair distribution of caregiving responsibilities

Practical and social support: find your tribe and share some the workload

A sense of choice and agency

Opportunities for psychological recovery

Preventing burnout is not about becoming a calmer parent or a better parent but about reframing the way you are parenting.

Why Burnout Prevention Is Often Framed the Wrong Way

Very often parents are told that if they are burnout is because they are doing it wrong. This is not the case. At REC Parenting we do not believe in this approach because it only creates more guilt in parents.

What Increases the Risk of Parental Burnout

Research shows that there are some parents at a higher risk of experiencing burnout:

Parents who aim to be perfect

Parents of lower socioeconomic status

Parents with low literacy

Mothers

Mothers who experience postpartum depression

Single parents

Parents who are emotionally instable

Parents who are not conscientious (this is the tendency to be organized, responsible, disciplined, and goal-oriented)

Parents from individualistic countries: the prevalence of parental burnout raises from 5% to 9%

Parents of neurodivergent children, children with chronic illness or special needs

What Prevention Realistically Looks Like

depressed mother with a toddler — burnout, Sad and tired mother with her baby girl at home.

It is impossible to eliminate all the stress from our life, but we can build buffers to protect us against the stress:

Finding your tribe

Getting professional support: cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) tends to work.

Redistributing mental load and responsibilities: unequal caregiving is a strong predictor of parental burnout

Reducing demands: letting go of expectations that are not really necessary, simplifying expectations and routines…

Rethinking unrealistic expectations of parenting: letting go of the idea of being perfect, stopping comparisons with other parents…

Creating space for psychological recovery: having time with no demands and moments of choice

Can Parental Burnout Always Be Prevented?

Sadly, not always. Prevention measures reduce the risk of developing burnout but they do not completely eliminate it. Even parents who feel supported may develop burnout during very stressful periods.

A Final Message for Parents

Parental burnout is not always preventable. Very often to prevent burnout, we need to change something in our environment: we need to get more help, redistribute the mental load, or have time to take care of ourselves. And it is not always possible to change our environment.

If you are struggling, we are here to support you. Get in touch!

How We Understand Parental Burnout at REC Parenting

At REC Parenting we frequently see parents (especially mothers) experiencing burnout. They experience burnout not because they are doing anything wrong, not because they are weak but because sadly, our society does not support mothers. Parental burnout is not a personal failure but a response to an environment marked by constant pressure, mental loads that need to be dealt with alone, and insufficient support.

We see parents who devote all their time and energy to their children. So much that they neglect their own needs and they reach a point where they have nothing left to give. To make it worse, many parents feel that feeling this way is a normal part of parenting. Others feel ashamed for being so tired and they do not understand why they are not enjoying raising their children.

We strongly believe that parental burnout has more to do with society’s structure. This means that we must take personal blame out of the equation.

What Psychology and Research Tell Us

Feeling stress is ‘normal’, common and even necessary. Parental burnout is something else. It is different to parenting stress, burnout, and depression. Parental burnouthappens when parenting stress impedes parents to cope. When parents lack the resources they need to handle their parenting demands, they may develop parental burnout.

Parental burnout is characterized by three main features:

• Intense exhaustion: physical, emotional, or both.

• Feeling emotionally distant from one’s child.

• Feeling doubtful of one’ capacity to be a good parent

Parents feel exhausted just by thinking about their role as parents. As a result, parents gradually detach from their children. They become less and less involved and in the end their interactions with their children are limited to logistics(e.g., “I will pick you up at 5 pm”). Consequently, parents begin to feel that they are not good parents, and their relationship with their children is damaged. Parents feel they are not being the parent they’d like to be. We can all experience these symptoms at some time. But when a parent is burnout, they experience them frequently and strongly.

Very often, people think that parental burnout only affects mothers, but that is absolutely not the case – there is a reason we call it ‘parental’ and not ‘maternal burnout’. Mothers might be most at risk as they often have the most contact with children and carry a disproportionate amount of the mental load, but fathers can, and do, burn out too.

In fact, some studies suggest that fathers may be even more vulnerable to parental burnout, perhaps because traditional gender roles have left fathers less prepared for the challenges of childcare and men may feel less able to seek emotional and practical support. Research also suggests that the consequences of parental burnout, such as withdrawing from your child or having escape fantasies, are also found to be more severe in fathers than in mothers.

Because research on parental burnot is still quite new, there are not many studies examining how it develops. A recent study shows that parental burnout does not appear suddenly, instead it is the result of a long process. This process has three stages:

1) Emotional exhaustion: the parent is always tired, even first thing in the morning, realizing they must spend another day with their child. The parent may feel that they have nothing else to give.

2) Emotional distancing: the parent gets less and lessinvolved in their child’s life. They do the bare minimum to keep their child fed, clean, and safe.

3) Loss of accomplishment in one’s parental role: the parent feels that they have had enough of parenthood. They find no joy in their children feel that they cannot keep going.

Why Parental Burnout Is Common Today

The term ‘parental burnout’ has been around since the 1980s but there wasn’t any significant research into it until the last few years and that takes time to tickle down into the public conscience. So, despite it being a relatively common condition (5% of parents worldwide are suffering from burnout) ⁽²⁾, it’s not yet widely talked about or understood.

The rise in parental burnout is connected to broader structural and social factors:

• We are raising kids in a very intensive, child-centeredway

• Mental load falls in the mothers, even when both, thefather and the mother work outside the home

• Ineffective work-life balance

• Trying to reach the perfect mother myth

• Mothers feeling lonely and lacking a tribe to raise their children

• The focus on productivity that is prevalent in today’s society

All these factors have made parental burnout more common. These days, parenting is intense and when parents do not have the support they need, exhaustion is to be expected. So, the idea that parental burnout is not real, that is just millennial snowflakes complaining, is simply not accurate.

Although as we have mentioned, parental burnout is linked to social factors, there are parents who are at a higher risk of experiencing it:

• Parents of neurodivergent children, children with chronic illness or special needs

• Parents who aim to be perfect

• Parents of lower socioeconomic status

• Parents with low literacy

• Mothers

• Mothers who experience postpartum depression

• Single parents

• Parents who are emotionally instable

• Parents who are not conscientious (this is the tendency to be organized, responsible, disciplined, and goal-oriented)

• Parents from individualistic countries: the prevalence of parental burnout raises from 5% to 9%

Common Signs of Parental Burnout

Different people will experience parental burnout differently, but common signs are:

• Increased irritability

• Fatigue that does not disappear with rest

• Difficulty enjoying even calm and joyful moments

• A constant feeling of being at their limit

• Constant guilt about not being the perfect parent

Parents who experience burnout are at higher risk of experiencing suicidal and escape ideations, and to problems such as substance abuse and sleep problems. It can also lead to a decrease in life satisfaction and depressive symptoms.

So far, there are two psychological tests that measure Parental burnout: the Parental Burnout Inventory (PBI) and the Parental Burnout Assessment (PBA). The PBA examines four factors:

• Emotional distance from one’s children

• Feelings of being fed up with one’s parental role,

• Contrast with how the parent used to and wanted to be,

• Exhaustion related to one’s parental role.

How Parental Burnout Affects Children and Family Life

It is important to understand that parental burnout does not only affect the parent, it also affects the spouse and the children.

The parent who suffers parental burnout struggles with his own mental health and is at a higher risk of developing other mental health conditions, leaving the family, and of committing suicide.

Parental burnout also affects the spouse. It increases the intensity and frequency of spousal conflict, reduces the quality of life of family members, and strains family relations.Parents who experience burnout are also less likely to want to have more children.

Frequently Asked Questions about Parental Burnout

In our work with families, we often hear these questions:

• What is parental burnout and how do I know I have it?

• Can parental burnout be prevented?

• Is it normal to feel exhausted even when I love my children?

• Is parental burnout more typical of mothers than of fathers?

• How does parental burnout affect children?

• How can I recover from parental burnout?

• Are parental burnout and depression the same?

What Usually Does Not Help? (Even Though It Is Often Suggested)

• Romanticising resilience: the idea that good parents “suck it up” and keep going to matter what, is not helpful when you are struggling with burnout.

• Generic advice such as “how to organize yourself better”

• Adding more pressure thinking that it is self-care: it seems that self-care these days has become another obligation, you need to do journaling, medication, fasting…. Adding more things to your to-do-list will unlikely improve your burnout. Self-care is crucial for parents but it shoud not be seen as another obligation.

• Treating parental burnout as an individual problem: as we have already seen there are some parents who are at a higher risk of experiencing parental burnout but this does not mean that they are the only ones who experience it. More than anything, parental burnout is a societal problem.

What Actually Helps (Based on Experience and Evidence)

• Finding your tribe

• Getting professional support: cognitive behavioraltherapy (CBT) tends to work.

• Redistributing mental load and responsibilities

• Reducing demands

• Rethinking unrealistic expectations of parenting

The good news is that parental burnout can be managed. By addressing the balance between stressors and resources, research shows that the symptoms of parental burnout can improve, along with the associated stress hormone levels. So, if you’re feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or a professional and get the support you need so you can get back to enjoying family life. The goal is to change the way we parent our children to make it sustainable and enjoyable.

An Important Message for Parents

Parenting was never meant to be done alone. If you are feeling burnout, it does not mean you are failing. It means you need more support and to reassess the way you are raising your children. We are here to support you. Do get in touch with us if you think you are experiencing parental burnout.

Continue Exploring

You can keep on reading about parental burnout, work-family balance, realistic parenting and mental load in other REC Parenting articles. We explore these issues through a contextual, psychological, and deeply human lens.

7 Myths about Parental Burnout

How Does Parental Mental Health Affect a Child?

Do You Have Advice for Stress Relief for Parents?

References

Roskam, I., & Mikolajczak, M. (2020). Gender differences in the nature, antecedents and consequences of parental burnout. Sex Roles, 83(7), 485-498. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-020-01121-5

Ren, X., Cai, Y., Wang, J., & Chen, O. (2024). A systematic review of parental burnout and related factors among parents. BMC public health, 24(1), 376.https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-024-17829-y

“Do you have any lone parent advice? I am newly single dad after my girlfriend left, and I am struggling (don’t have any family in the state either)”

I am sorry to hear you are struggling but not at all surprised. If parenting with someone else is hard, parenting on your own is even harder.

You are finding it particularly hard now because everything is new, and you and your child need to adapt to this new situation. Think that as you get used to your new situation, things will get easier.

You mention that you don’t have any family close by. However, parenting was never meant to be done alone. You need to find your tribe. If your child goes to nursery or school, are there any parents that you can team up with? Or maybe any neighbours with kids? You could organize carpools, or playdates in each other houses, so you all get “time off” to get things done and possibly some rest when it is not your turn to take care of the kids.

There are many mothers and fathers in your situation. According to the Pew Research Center, between 25% to 30% of children under the age of 18 in the US live in a single-parent household. In general, research tends to find no differences between children living with two parents and children living with one parent. Try to find dads in your same situation. There are online communities of single dads that you could join and maybe there are also single dad groups in your local area.

Single parents bear the burden of making difficult parenting decisions on their own. This is why it is important that you understand how much parents matter so you do not agonize over decisions that do not matter that much. What matters for child development? The most important predictor in children’s development is whether they have a good relationship with their parents. Children tend to do better when their parents are loving, caring, and set up clear and consistent rules. This is why children who have authoritative parents tend to do better than children of parents who favour other parenting styles. Usually, small decisions which parents tend to worry about do not make a big difference in how their child turns out. Your child’s future does not depend totally on you. Focus on the quality of your relationship. Give your child lots of love and provide consistent rules. Try not to worry about every single decision you make, because most likely it will not matter in the long term

Single parenthood can be particularly tough on your mental health. It is important that you take care of yourself to manage your stress and avoid burnout. Remember that when in the case of parents: self-care is childcare. Your child needs you to be strong and well. Create boundaries, ask for help, and remember that you do not need to be the perfect father. The perfect parent does not exist, we all make mistakes and it is not the end of the world.

You may find these articles useful:

What Is Parental Burnout?

Do You Have Advice for Stress Relief for Parents?

How Does Parental Mental Health Affect a Child?

I wish you all the very best. If you need support, please do not hesitate to get in touch.

Love,

Ana

Dr Ana Aznar

All of us parents know that parenthood is both a joyful and a challenging experience, and that we can feel totally stressed out at times. But what happens if you experience too much stress, for too long, and don’t have the resources to cope with it? That’s when we can develop something called ‘parental burnout’ – when chronic parenting stress leaves us feeling exhausted, disconnected from our children and not being the parent we’d like to be ⁽¹⁾.

Given how distressing parental burnout can be for both parents and children, it’s really important that we raise awareness of it. A great place to start is Dr. Ana Aznar’s helpful overview article, and in this article, we’re going to bust some of the most common myths about parental burnout.

Myth #1: It Only Affects Mothers

Young exhausted woman with three children at home. Tired sleepy mother taking care of baby while her older children do homework or drawing in kitchen at home. Motherhood burnout.

The most common myth is that parental burnout only affects mothers, but that’s absolutely not the case – there’s a reason we call it ‘parental’ and not ‘maternal burnout’. Mothers might be most at risk as they often have the most contact with children and carry a disproportionate amount of the mental load, but fathers can, and do, burn out too.

In fact, some studies suggest that fathers may be even more vulnerable to parental burnout ⁽³⁾, perhaps because traditional gender roles have left fathers less prepared for the challenges of childcare and men may feel less able to seek emotional and practical support. Research also suggests that the consequences of parental burnout, such as withdrawing from your child or having escape fantasies, are also found to be more severe in fathers than in mothers.

Myth #2: It Only Affects Parents with Young Children

While it can be exhausting to be frequently managing tantrums, picky eating, and sleepless nights, parental burnout doesn’t just affect parents of young children – it can happen at any stage of parenting when a parent’s coping resources aren’t enough to cover the stress they’re under.

Parents of older children can be under just as much stress when their hands on, physical care isn’t needed. The tasks of parenthood change as children grow – parents of teens are dealing with more emotional and psychological challenges like mood swings, peer difficulties, risky behavior, and school issues. Not surprisingly, parents of older children and teens report feeling more emotional than physical forms of burnout.

Myth #3: It Only Affects Parents of Children with Special Needs

Sad and tired mother with her baby girl at home.

While it’s true that having a child with special needs is a risk factor for increased parental stress and burnout, no single risk factor is enough to trigger burnout on its own. Often, the most impactful risk factors have more to do with the parent or family system than the children such as parental perfectionism, difficulties with emotional regulation, lack of social support or household disorganization.

And this is good news – these are factors that are likely to be much more amenable to change and can be addressed with a therapist or coach.

Myth #4: It’s Not Real; It’s Just ‘Millennial Snowflakes’ Complaining

Millennials didn’t invent the term “parental burnout”. In fact, the earliest book I’ve read on parental burnout is from 1983; a time when the oldest millennials were just babies.

It’s likely that we’re hearing the term now because of two things – arguably the pressures on parents have increased in the last 40 years as the dominant parenting culture has become more ‘child-centred, expert-guided, emotionally absorbing, labour-intensive and financially expensive’ ⁽⁴⁾ which has made parental burnout more common.

And secondly, because we’re more aware of, and open to talking about, emotional and mental health than we were in previous generations. The stigma around talking about parental burnout really declined during the Covid-19 lockdowns when most parents felt exhausted by parenthood. One silver lining of that time was that the research literature on parental burnout rapidly grew with so many of us experiencing parental burnout and that will hopefully lead to better support for parents in future.

Myth #5: It Only Affects Single Parents

As we discovered with Myth #3, a single risk factor isn’t enough to cause parental burnout. It’s about the balance of stressors and resources you have. Not having a co-parenting partner is definitely a challenge, but that doesn’t mean having a co-parent makes life easier. In fact, in one study, single mothers were found to be less emotionally exhausted than partnered mothers who rated their partner as unavailable or only moderately available ⁽⁵⁾.

Single parents can be more vulnerable to burnout, not purely because of their single status, but because they are more likely to experience related risk factors such as lack of downtime, less financial security, and increased mental load. However, a single parent with a good support system and coping strategies is not necessarily more likely to burn out than a parent with a co-parenting partner.

Myth #6: It’s More Common in Disadvantaged Parents

Unhappy husband and father with his family at home

We commonly see social and economic disadvantage as a causal factor in many mental health conditions but that’s not what we find with parental burnout. On the contrary, research shows that it tends to happen more in well-educated, affluent families ⁽⁶⁾.

We need more research to fully understand why this is the case. It might be related to personality traits – these parents could be more achievement-focused and perfectionistic, putting undue pressure on themselves and their children, or being hyper-aware of all the parenting advice and trying to execute it perfectly. Or it could be that these families are more likely to have moved away from their families of origin and hometowns for work and are more isolated.

Myth #7: It’s More Common in Parents Who Work Long Hours

Perhaps you thought about those affluent parents and wondered whether they’re more stressed because they work long hours. But this might surprise you – parents who work part-time or stay at home are actually more likely to burn out than those who work full-time ⁽¹⁾.

These parents often spend more time with their children and take on more of the parental responsibilities, which means they’re more exposed to the stressors of childcare and less exposed to the rewards of work – like accomplishment, adult company, and financial independence. Their balance of stressors and resources is therefore more likely to be unbalanced, and their risk of developing parental burnout increased.

Conclusion

Parental burnout doesn’t fit neatly into one box – there’s no single “type” of burned out parent or a specific risk factor that causes burnout. Any parent can experience burnout if they face more stress than they have the resources to cope with. It’s not a personal failing.

The good news? Burnout can be managed. By addressing the balance between stressors and resources, research shows that the symptoms of parental burnout can improve, along with the associated stress hormone levels ⁽⁷⁾. So, if you’re feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or a professional and get the support you need so you can get back to enjoying family life.

About the Author

Dr. Katy Hill is a clinical psychologist with over 20 years’ experience of working across a variety of different NHS and university psychology departments. She was the first UK clinical psychologist to qualify as a certified parental burnout practitioner with the Training Institute of Parental Burnout in 2022. As a mum of three herself, Dr. Katy is passionate about supporting parents to reduce their stress levels, manage difficult emotions and improve relationships with their children, and themselves. You can find her at www.drkatyhill.com or on Instagram @theparentalstresspsychologist.

References

⁽¹⁾ Mikolajczak, M., Aunola, K., Sorkkila, M., & Roskam, I. (2023). 15 years of parental burnout research: Systematic review and agenda. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 32(4), 276-283.https://doi.org/10.1177/09637214221142777

⁽²⁾ Roskam, I., & Mikolajczak, M. (2021). The slippery slope of parental exhaustion: A process model of parental burnout. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 77, 101354.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appdev.2021.101354

⁽³⁾ Roskam, I., & Mikolajczak, M. (2020). Gender differences in the nature, antecedents and consequences of parental burnout. Sex Roles, 83(7), 485-498. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-020-01121-5

⁽⁴⁾ Hays, S. (1998). The fallacious assumptions and unrealistic prescriptions of attachment theory: A comment on” Parents’ Socioemotional Investment in Children”. Journal of Marriage and Family, 60(3), 782-790. https://doi.org/10.2307/353546

⁽⁵⁾Lebert-Charron, A., Dorard, G., Wendland, J., & Boujut, E. (2021). Who are and are not the burnout moms? A cluster analysis study of French-speaking mothers. Journal of Affective Disorders Reports, 4, 100091. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadr.2021.100091

⁽⁶⁾ Mikolajczak, M., Brianda, M. E., Avalosse, H., & Roskam, I. (2018). Consequences of parental burnout: Its specific effect on child neglect and violence. Child abuse & neglect, 80, 134-145.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2018.03.025

⁽⁷⁾ Brianda, M. E., Roskam, I., & Mikolajczak, M. (2020). Hair cortisol concentration as a biomarker of parental burnout. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 117, 104681.https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2020.104681

Parental burnout is not the ‘typical’ parenting stress. Feeling stress is ‘normal’, common and even necessary.

Parental burnout is something else. It happens when parenting stress impedes parents to cope. When parents lack the resources needed to handle their parenting demands, they may develop parental burnout.

It is characterized by three main features:

Intense exhaustion: physical, emotional, or both.

Feeling emotionally distant from one’s child.

Feeling doubtful of one’ capacity to be a good parent

We can all experience these symptoms at some time. But when a parent is burnout, they experience them frequently and strongly.

What Is the Difference Between Parental Burnout and Depression?

Parental burnout and depression can look quite similar, but they are different.

Parental burnout is specific to the parenting domain. You feel exhausted when being with your kids. You don’t enjoy being with the kids. You find tough dealing with everything to do with the kids. In contrast, you are totally fine at work, you enjoy spending time with your friends, and you enjoy any hobbies you may have.

Depression is more global. It’s all encompassing. You feel low. You feel tired. You feel uninterested across all aspects of your life.

A burnout mother sitting on the floor while her toddler plays with his toys that are scattered on the floor.

How Many Parents Experience Parental Burnout?

The research on parental burnout is quite new.

Studies in 42 countries show that around 5% of parents experience parental burnout. In the Western world, this figure goes up to 8%. This is about 1 parent in every classroom.

Parental burnout is more common in Europe and the US. This is probably because these countries are very individualistic and because parenting has become increasingly demanding over the last 50 years.

Parents of neurodivergent children are more likely to experience parental burnout.

Both mothers and fathers can experience parental burnout.

Who is More Likely to Experience Parental Burnout?

These are the parents who are more at risk:

Those who aim to be perfect parents.

Those who have difficulties regulating their emotions and their stress.

Don’t have emotional or practical support from their coparent or who don’t have a tribe.

Those who don’t have much knowledge about how to raise their kids.

Those who have children with special needs.

Those who work part-time or are stay-at-home parents

Why Does Parental Burnout Matter?

Parental burnout has been linked with:

Depression, addiction, and sleep problems.

Thoughts of running away and committing suicide.

Child neglect and child maltreatment.

High levels of job turnover intention, and a decrease in job satisfaction.

Conflict within the couple.

A reduction of the quality of life and life satisfaction of the family members.

I Think I Am Experiencing Parental Burnout… What Do I Do?

If you are struggling, and you suspect that you may be experiencing parental burnout, I highly recommend that you see a specialist. Our REC Parenting therapists are here to support you. You just need to get in touch with me here and we will organize the support your need. Remember that taking care of yourself is taking care of your family.

Much love,

Ana

Dr Ana Aznar