How can I recognize and address alcohol misuse or abuse in teenagers, and what steps can I take to help prevent alcoholism or addiction during adolescence? I’m trying to support my daughter while she’s in rehab by taking care of her teens, but I want to keep an eye out for alcohol issues in them before they can get bad (she drank badly around them, maybe it rubbed off?).
Your grandkids are very lucky to have you. We are all worried about our teenagers drinking alcohol and it is normal that because of your daughter, you are even more worried. There is evidence suggesting that addiction runs in families. Children learn mostly by observing their parents and other adults in their life. I am not saying this to put blame or more pressure on your daughter, I am just saying this to make you aware of it. It is important that you model a good behaviour regarding alcohol to your grandkids. And talk about it with them, teenagers really value honesty, even if sometimes conversations are tough.
Here are a few tips you may find useful:
- Talk about alcohol with them: it is not about lecturing them but about asking their opinions, learning how they feel about their mum’s addiction, learning what they think and feel about alcohol…Teenagers who have a warm and open relationship with their caregivers are less likely to engage in risky behaviours, such as drinking alcohol
- Establish clear rules and consequences: set up family rules, discuss them with them, and explain the consequences if rules are broken. Always enforce the consequences.
- Set a good example
- Know their friends: if their friends drink alcohol, your grandkids will feel the pressure to drink. Help them to resist peer pressure. For example, you could role play their reactions if their friends pressure them to have a drink.
- Know what they are doing, who with, and where they go: it is not about controlling them but about knowing what is going on in their lives. It is about them noticing that you care about them from a non-judgemental place. This way they will feel that you care about them, you will be close with them, and you will be more likely to notice if something is not quite right with them.
- If you think any of your grandkids is drinking, act fast.
I urge to watch this masterclass with Dr Paula Corcoran. She provides excellent information about how to discuss about drugs with our teenagers: How to Talk about Drugs
I wish your daughter a speedy recovery and all the very best to your grandkids. And please, remember to take care of yourself. You have a lot on your plate! Do get in touch with me if you need more support or information.
Love,
Ana
