Should I Have Kids If I Am Unsure?
“I’m sure this sounds like a dumb question but should I still have kids if I’m unsure? I tend to jump right into things without thinking, because I’m so uncertain about everything in life generally, but I guess kids is much different than a new car loan or changing a major in uni.”
This is not a dumb question at all! I can assure you, you are not the only one who is unsure about whether having kids is the right thing to do.
This is a very personal question that at the end of the day, only you can answer it. Some people choose to go to a therapist to explore their feelings and thoughts around it. Let me know if this is something you would like to explore.
As you say, having a child is a much more important decision than choosing a car loan or changing major. It is probably the most important decision you will make in your life because it does really change your life forever.
There is some research exploring whether people regret having kids. As you can imagine, this is a difficult area to examine because parents are usually reluctant to admit that they regret having children. It is a feeling that usually brings shame and therefore people do not like to discuss it. There was a study published in 2021 examining parents in the US and Europe and it suggested that around 8%-17% of parents regret having children. Another study examined people’s reasons for regretting having kids. The conclusion is that more than parents regretting having children, their regret was around the circumstances: number of kids they had, the timing of having kids, or the sacrifices they had to make.
I hope this helps! I wish you all the best.
Regards,
Ana
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