Category: Q&As

How to Explain Divorce to a Child?

Published : May 07, 2025
By Dr. Ana Aznar

“How to explain divorce to a child (my wife left us and i dont know how to tell my 6-y/o son)” 

Serious father listen to his pre-teen little son talking seated on sofa at home, speaking spend time together at home. Cute boy share problems, ask advice to dad. Communication, care and trust concept

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. From your message I understand that your wife left without an explanation or saying goodbye.  

You need to tell your son that sometimes couples do not want to live with each other anymore and that his mum has left because of this.  

Take his lead and tell him the information he asks. Do not give him information he has not asked for. Do not overwhelm him. Be honest with him. If he asks about something that you do not know. Simply tell him the truth. Tell him that you don’t know but that you are with him. Always.  

You need to reassure him that nothing he has done has made his mum leave. This is not his fault.    

Your son may worry that you may also leave. Tell him that you will never leave him. That you will always be there for him. 

Your son will probably find it difficult to adapt to this new situation. He may start showing regressive behaviours (e.g., waking up at night, wetting the bed, sucking his thumb). Be there for him, show him love and compassion. Validate his feelings. Tell him that you understand that he is finding it difficult and that it will get better. He may find it difficult focusing at school and paying attention to tasks.  

He may become very clingy with you because he worries that you will also leave. Be patient with him. Reassure him that you will never leave. Whenever you leave him (to go to work or run an errand), explain to him where you are going, what you are doing, when you are coming back, and who is taking care of him while you are away. Try to stick to your word.  

Talk to his teacher. Let them know what is going on at home. Build a strong support system for your son between you and his teacher.  

Your son will have feelings of loss of control and uncertainty. It is important that you keep the same routine that he always has had. This will give him a sense of security and control.  

I hope this information helps. Do please get in touch with me if you would like to have a session to discuss how you can best support him. I am here to help.  

Finally, remember that this is a very difficult moment for your son but also for you. You need to be strong to be able to take care of your son. Try to eat well, do some exercise, and see friends. If you need some extra support, please do get in touch with me as well.  

I wish you and you son all the very best.  

Love, 

Ana  

Dr Ana Aznar 

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Comments
Linwoodpex
2025-05-09 07:00:40
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2025-05-08 19:25:39
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Pia Satrustegui
2025-04-25 07:23:36
Hola Ana,
Qué fantástico artículo y que buenos consejos. Ha sido de una gran ayuda. Un abrazo muy fuerte
Dr. Ana Aznar
2025-03-31 19:41:20
Qué ilusión tu mensaje, Pia! Gracias a tí por leernos.
Pia Satrustegui
2025-03-28 10:13:56
Querida Ana,
Maravilloso artículo sobre la serie Adolescentes y consejos de gran ayuda en una etapa tan complicada de nuestros hijos , tan desprotegidos frente a las nuevas tecnologías.Es una ayuda tremenda para nosotros. Muchas gracias
Armani
2025-03-06 09:31:35
This is ethically wrong and I don't think it's worth the damage it will ultimately cause to the relationship. And the issues it will cause for the one being spied on. Just don't do it.
Meghan
2025-02-07 21:26:19
Is there a printable version of the article? I am a school based mental health professional and would like to share it with parents.
J
2025-02-03 10:52:04
This is such a great writeup. I think too often we get caught in a rutt of trying to categorise everything. Our daily lives are kind of dictated by categories and labels, certainly in a digital world.

I'd imagine this is quite deteremental for a childs development in the long run as nothing stays the same forever, and we shouldn't really be making these categorisations, especially towards our children.

Just live life, sometimes you'll have to be the parent that's the shoulder to cry on. The week after you may have to raise your voice a little when everyone is in a rush and you're trying to get your children's shoes on.

Just balance it all out, don't be too self critical and pick up on what your child wants and needs.

Again, great writeup!
Dr. Ana Aznar
2024-09-13 12:51:46
Dear Robert,
Thank you so much for your comment. I totally get what you mean. It is always difficult to have kids living with you, wanting to support them and their parents but at the same time not wanting to step in anyone's toes. If there's anything we can do to support you and your family, please do not hesitate to get in touch with us.

Ana
Robert Eisenbart
2024-09-10 00:43:07
Great Article! I'm a retired FNP. Years ago I taught a STEP program to parents via family court cases. I now have a daughter and her man disciplining three children 4, 8, and 10. The 10 year old has ADHD and my personal diagnosis is she's also Oppositional/Defiant. I believe the OD came from harsh discipline. All they seem to do is punish and threaten physical punishment. They say positive reinforcement didn't work however they tried it for about 2 months and then went back to punishment. I can't reason with them as "they are the parents"!! is all I hear. They all live with me and have since the oldest was about 2. Sadly I can see the other 2 developing issues like anxiety and aggression as well. Trying to show them another side of adult supervision when I have them but frustrating.
Dr. Ana Aznar
2024-09-02 20:48:07
Really glad you found it useful! Thank you for being here and for your comment.

Ana
avenue17
2024-08-30 11:17:25
I doubt it.
Dr. Ana Aznar
2024-05-17 09:55:58
Hi Donna,
sO great to have you here! Totally agree that Zara is great! What other topics would you like us to discuss?
Ana
Donna
2024-05-17 09:49:36
Love Zara’s ways of teaching for both parents & kids! Also so helpful. We want more!! (Please!) :D
Ana Aznar
2024-05-08 07:24:31
We are glad you found the content useful! Many thanks for being here.
Ana
Cristoj
2024-04-09 18:20:19
Great article!!!
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