How Do I Set Limits around Screen Time?
”Screen time is driving me crazy. Every day it’s the same battle. my kids just want more and more. How do I set limits that actually stick without World War III breaking out in my living room?”
You are not the only one feeling like this! Unfortunately, screen time is something most parents struggle with.
If you are having trouble setting limits around screens, you should sit with your children and tell them that rules are not working and that you need to rethink them as a family. You may even want to write down the new rules in a “contract” and have each kid sign them. If they don’t follow the contract, there will be consequences.
What kind of rules should you establish? Different families have different rules, but in general these tend to work:
1. Make it clear that the phone/computer/tv is yours. You pay for them and if they don’t follow the rules you set, there will be consequences.
2. Make it very clear that aggressiveness is not allowed. Under no circumstances.
3. Set the rules: how much screen time can they have per day, when, where, and what they can do with them.
4. Establish the consequences. Ideally, you want to establish connected consequences. For example, if they can have the ipad for 30 minutes, and they have it for longer, the following day their screen time will be reduced.
5. Establish the rules and be consistent. Rules should always be the same, and consequences when rules are broken should always be the same. If you have a partner, it is very important that you both agree to change the rules and that you both do the work to achieve it. Work as a team.
6. They should never have screens in their bedrooms at night. They must give you all the screens before going to bed.
7. If you have not done it yet, install parental controls and monitor what they are doing. It is not the same if your child spends an hour playing online with friends than if he spends an hour watching porn. Screen time is important, but it is also important what they are doing with the screens and what they are not doing because they are with the screen. Ideally, you want your children to find a balance between homework, sports, time with friends and family, and screens.
Your children will resist. They won’t want you to change the rules but remember that it is never too late to change the rules and that you are the parent, you are in charge. It is important that they understand why you are changing the rules because they are more likely to follow them, but if they refuse, it is perfectly fine for you say: “I am sorry if you don’t understand the new rules but I am your mother and because I love you, I am doing what is best for you”.
I hope this helps!
Ana
Related articles:
Children, Mental Health, and Screens
