Childhood Trauma: Will I Be a Good Parent?
“I don’t want to go deeply into my own childhood trauma details, but let me just say that as a child I was SA’d and abused by my father for years. Now, I’m considering having children myself but I am concerned that these impusles/depravities might be genetic and I might end up hurting my own children as much as I was, and not be able to stop it. Is this something that can be carried through bloodlines, unable to be avoided or restrained?”
First, let me tell you that I am very sorry about what you had to go through and that I hope you are doing OK. Second, the fact that you are here asking for support, is a very clear sign that you want to do things differently if you become a parent.
Having been abused does not necessarily mean you will be an abusive parent. It is true that some victims of abuse go on to become abusive parents, perhaps because this is the only way they know to relate to their children. But it is also the case, that some people who were abused are incredibly aware that they do not want to hurt their children and develop a very strong motivation to protect their children.
So, the answer to your question is: NO. The fact you were abused does not mean you will be an abusive parent. I do not know if you have gone to therapy or are in therapy, but I believe that it would be a very good idea for you to discuss your thoughts and emotions with a therapist.
I wish you all the very best.
Ana
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Qué fantástico artículo y que buenos consejos. Ha sido de una gran ayuda. Un abrazo muy fuerte
Maravilloso artículo sobre la serie Adolescentes y consejos de gran ayuda en una etapa tan complicada de nuestros hijos , tan desprotegidos frente a las nuevas tecnologías.Es una ayuda tremenda para nosotros. Muchas gracias
I'd imagine this is quite deteremental for a childs development in the long run as nothing stays the same forever, and we shouldn't really be making these categorisations, especially towards our children.
Just live life, sometimes you'll have to be the parent that's the shoulder to cry on. The week after you may have to raise your voice a little when everyone is in a rush and you're trying to get your children's shoes on.
Just balance it all out, don't be too self critical and pick up on what your child wants and needs.
Again, great writeup!
Thank you so much for your comment. I totally get what you mean. It is always difficult to have kids living with you, wanting to support them and their parents but at the same time not wanting to step in anyone's toes. If there's anything we can do to support you and your family, please do not hesitate to get in touch with us.
Ana
Ana
sO great to have you here! Totally agree that Zara is great! What other topics would you like us to discuss?
Ana
Ana
