Childhood Trauma: Will I Be a Good Parent?
“I don’t want to go deeply into my own childhood trauma details, but let me just say that as a child I was SA’d and abused by my father for years. Now, I’m considering having children myself but I am concerned that these impusles/depravities might be genetic and I might end up hurting my own children as much as I was, and not be able to stop it. Is this something that can be carried through bloodlines, unable to be avoided or restrained?”
First, let me tell you that I am very sorry about what you had to go through and that I hope you are doing OK. Second, the fact that you are here asking for support, is a very clear sign that you want to do things differently if you become a parent.
Having been abused does not necessarily mean you will be an abusive parent. It is true that some victims of abuse go on to become abusive parents, perhaps because this is the only way they know to relate to their children. But it is also the case, that some people who were abused are incredibly aware that they do not want to hurt their children and develop a very strong motivation to protect their children.
So, the answer to your question is: NO. The fact you were abused does not mean you will be an abusive parent. I do not know if you have gone to therapy or are in therapy, but I believe that it would be a very good idea for you to discuss your thoughts and emotions with a therapist.
I wish you all the very best.
Ana
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