Can Parental Burnout Be Prevented?
Parental burnout can be reduced and sometimes prevented. Prevention is more dependent on support, context, and realistic expectations than on parenting techniques. When demands are lowered and resources increased- at social, family, and workplace levels- the risk of parental burnout decreases significantly.
Why This Question Matters So Much
Many parents ask this question because they have already experienced burnout and they do not want to experience it again. Others ask the question because they are tired and starting to feel fed up with parenting and they want to avoid reaching their breaking point.
Usually, fear underlies this question: “Does it mean that I have failed if I experience parental burnout?”. Rest assured that experiencing parental burnout does not mean you have failed. It can happen to any of us.
What Research Tells Us about Prevention
Research on parental burnout shows that it appears when there is a chronic imbalance between:
- Resources: support, time…
- Demands: logistical, emotional, relational, cognitive…
Important protective factors are:
- Realistic expectations of parenting: ditch trying to be the perfect parent or becoming a parent martyr
- Fair distribution of caregiving responsibilities
- Practical and social support: find your tribe and share some the workload
- A sense of choice and agency
- Opportunities for psychological recovery
Preventing burnout is not about becoming a calmer parent or a better parent but about reframing the way you are parenting.
Why Burnout Prevention Is Often Framed the Wrong Way
Very often parents are told that if they are burnout is because they are doing it wrong. This is not the case. At REC Parenting we do not believe in this approach because it only creates more guilt in parents.
What Increases the Risk of Parental Burnout
Research shows that there are some parents at a higher risk of experiencing burnout:
- Parents who aim to be perfect
- Parents of lower socioeconomic status
- Parents with low literacy
- Mothers
- Mothers who experience postpartum depression
- Single parents
- Parents who are emotionally instable
- Parents who are not conscientious (this is the tendency to be organized, responsible, disciplined, and goal-oriented)
- Parents from individualistic countries: the prevalence of parental burnout raises from 5% to 9%
- Parents of neurodivergent children, children with chronic illness or special needs
What Prevention Realistically Looks Like
It is impossible to eliminate all the stress from our life, but we can build buffers to protect us against the stress:
- Finding your tribe
- Getting professional support: cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) tends to work.
- Redistributing mental load and responsibilities: unequal caregiving is a strong predictor of parental burnout
- Reducing demands: letting go of expectations that are not really necessary, simplifying expectations and routines…
- Rethinking unrealistic expectations of parenting: letting go of the idea of being perfect, stopping comparisons with other parents…
- Creating space for psychological recovery: having time with no demands and moments of choice
Can Parental Burnout Always Be Prevented?
Sadly, not always. Prevention measures reduce the risk of developing burnout but they do not completely eliminate it. Even parents who feel supported may develop burnout during very stressful periods.
A Final Message for Parents
Parental burnout is not always preventable. Very often to prevent burnout, we need to change something in our environment: we need to get more help, redistribute the mental load, or have time to take care of ourselves. And it is not always possible to change our environment.
If you are struggling, we are here to support you. Get in touch!
Related reading
This article is part of REC Parenting’s Complete Guide to Parental Burnout, where we explore what parental burnout is, how it develops, how it affects the whole family, and measures to tackle it effectively.
