How Can I Help My Child Believe in Their Self?
“My heart breaks a little when I see my child doubt themselves. They seem so unsure sometimes. What can I do as a parent to really help them believe in themselves and bounce back when things get hard?”
As a mother, I totally get why you feel this way when your child struggles. We all want to protect our children from suffering. But it is very important that you do not overprotect your child in an attempt to prevent him from experiencing uncomfortable feelings, such as self-doubt. It is important that your child learns to deal with feelings of self-doubt because he will keep experiencing them throughout his life.
Confidence is about trusting ourselves, our abilities, and our ideas. It is also about understanding who we are, our talents, and our limitations. It is normal to sometimes doubt ourselves.
Here are a few ideas that might help:
- Let your child struggle a bit: building confidence is not about giving your child a pep-talk but about giving her the experiences to say: “I can handle this”. If you step in every time she struggles, the message she gets is: “I can’t handle this”,
- Encourage a growth mindset: encourage the idea that he cannot do something yet, and that if he keeps trying, he will be able to do it
- Normalize feelings of self-doubt: it is normal and OK to experience self-doubt. It happens to all of us.
- Praise effort, not ability
- Listen to him instead of trying to fix his feelings
Related articles:
Fostering Emotional Intelligence in Children: A Guide for Parents
