I Think I Have a Defiant 3-Year-Old
«I think I have a defiant 3 year old. It’s so much more than pushing boundaries or testing them or whatever our pediatrician says. It feels like he hates us for just existing.»
Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a type of disruptive behaviour disorder that involves difficulties managing emotions and behaviours. Symptoms begin before the age of 8 and almost always before the early teen years.
All children are challenging at times and therefore it is sometimes difficult to recognize the difference between a strong-willed child and one with ODD. Children with ODD are very often angry, irritable, and defiant towards parents and other authority figures. They often show a behaviour called vindictiveness, which includes being spiteful and seeking revengeful.
Symptoms include:
Angry and irritable mood:
- Often and easily loses temper
- Is frequently touchy and easily annoyed by others
- Is often resentful and angry
Argumentative and defiant behaviour:
- Often argues with adults or people in authority
- Often actively defies or refuses to follow adults’ requests or rules
- Often annoys other people on purpose
- Often blames others for own mistakes
Hurtful and revengeful behavior:
- Says mean and hateful things when upset
- Tries to hurt the feelings of others and seeks revenge (vindictive behaviour)
- Has shown vindictive behaviour at least twice in the past six months
For some children, symptoms may happen only at home but with time, they may also appear in other settings, such as school or with friends. Children with ODD tend to have problems with relationships, school, and peers.
If after reading this information you still think your child may have ODD, seek help from a child psychologist or child psychiatrist with expertise in this area. Treatment usually involves: Parent management training (PMT), talk therapy, and school-based interventions.
I hope you find this information useful. I wish you and your child all the very best.
Love,
Ana
