How to Help a Mother with Bipolar Disorder?
“I have a strained relationship with my mother (I’m an adult and parent myself) because she’s always been a bipolar parent, but refused to take her medication. Now, she’s ill and needs caring for, but I don’t know if I can handle it. Any advice on how to help a mother with bipolar while still safeguarding mine and my son’s mental health?”
Bipolar disorder is one of the most common life-long conditions. About one to two in every 100 people will have bipolar disorder. This means that almost as many people live with bipolar disorder as they do with cancer. As you very well know, it is a condition where moods can swing from one extreme to another. Mood states can last from days to weeks. Some people will have a few episodes while others can have many.
Without medication, the person can exhibit poor decision making, risky behaviour, sleeplessness, spending sprees, social withdrawal, trouble meeting work obligations, lack of personal hygiene, psychosis or in the worst cases, suicide.
Your situation is difficult and can feel very isolating. This is why connecting with other people experiencing the same thing as you, can help you manage it better and feel less alone. Organizations such as The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) provide a safe space for caregivers and relatives of those living with bipolar disorder.
Right now, with your mum needing care, you need to decide how you want to support her. Only you can make this decision. It may be a good idea to work with a therapist to help you navigate this moment. A therapist will help you establish clear boundaries for you and your son. And remember that you can still support your mother even if you are not directly involved in her day-to-day care. Take care of yours and your son’s mental health, ditch any guilt you may be experiencing, and act according to your own values.
I wish you all the very best.
Love,
Ana
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