What Is the Best Way to Train Up a Child?

“What is the best way to train up a child? I grew up religious where this was a very important phrase but I want to not bring too much of my past into my present with my kids (ages 11 & 12).” 

Let’s start by explaining what you mean by ‘train up’ a child for those who may not have heard the term before. To “train up a child” means to guide and teach them, instilling life skills, values, and morality so they can make good choices and grow into well-adjusted adults.  

Regardless of whether you are bringing up your children religious or not, you can teach them values, provide them with a moral compass to guide their life, and equip them with life skills.  

These are the best ways to do it: 

• Be your child’s role model: children learn more from what we do than from what we say. If you want your child to be honest, you should be honest. If you want your child to be hard working, you should be hard working. If you want your child to help others, you should help others. Your children are constantly observing you. Do what you preach.  

• Provide guidance: explain to your child why his behaviour is right or wrong.  

• Praise good behaviour when your children behave well. For example, whenever they help a friend, tidy up their room, or feed the dog, tell them. Praise them. Children are more likely to repeat behaviours that you praise.  

• Surround yourself and your children with people who share your same values.  

• Follow your values: it is important you are clear about what your values are, and which values you want your children to learn. Sometimes, if we are not clear on our values, we may end up making parenting choices just because other people make them. Be clear on the values you want your children to learn, and make sure your behaviours and choices follow them.  

• Establish a warm, loving, solid relationship with your children and provide them with limits, consistency and a routine. Children do much better when they have clear limits and a warm relationship with their parents.  

Get in touch with me if you want to discuss if further.  

I hope this information helps! 

Regards,  

Ana 

Dr Ana Aznar 

Related articles: 

The Importance of Parenting: How Much Do Parents Really Matter? 

Born or Made: What Really Shapes Our Children? 

Why Is Family Important?