How Do I Talk to my Child’s Teacher Without Being “That Parent”?

“So I need to talk to my kid’s teacher about some stuff that’s been bothering me, but I’m nervous about coming across the wrong way. How do I bring up my concerns without sounding like «that parent,» and actually make this a helpful conversation?” 

This is a worry that many parents share, none of us want to be ‘that parent’. But at the same time, we not only have the right but the obligation to raise any concerns we may have about our child with the school. So, as you say the important thing is to have the conversation in a way that is constructive and not confrontational. 

Here are some tips you may find helpful: 

• Start by making it clear that you really value the work the teacher does and the support he gives your child 

• Clearly say that you want the conversation to be constructive and helpful 

• State your concern, talking about how you feel. Do not make ‘you’ statements, but ‘I’ statements 

• Listen to what the teacher has to say and be open to hear his point of view 

• Remember that in a conversation you can control what you say but not what the other person feels or says 

• Do not take comments personally  

I hope this information helps! I wish you both the best of luck. 

Ana 

Dr Ana Aznar