Category: Parents' Zone, Q&As
Tips for a First Time Father?
Published : Dec 01, 2025
By Dr. Ana Aznar
“my girlfriend is pregnant but i don’t know if I’m prepared, what are some tips that you have for a first time father?”
Having your first child can feel terrifying. After all, it is like jumping into a pool without knowing if the water is going to be very cold, very hot, with a strong current, calm, deep or shallow…. We basically jumpand hope for the best.
Having said this, here are a few ideas for you to reflect about:
- Knowledge is power. I don’t know if you are familiar with kids or not, but learning about child development and parenting will make you feel better equipped. The REC Parenting website is full of information and useful tools.
- Parenting, like everything in life is a skill. The more you practice it, the better you will become at it. There is no manual of how to be the perfect parent, we all learn as we go along.
- You won’t enjoy every single moment of being a father and it is OK. You may hate changing nappies, going to the park, or the endless nights. It is OK, not loving every single moment of it does not make you a bad person, weird, or a bad father. I promise you that most people feel that way even if they don’t say it aloud. Whatever you feel is totally fine.
- Don’t try to be the perfect father. The perfect father does not exist. Focus on having a close relationship with your child. Children need love and limits.
- Be prepared for your relationship with your girlfriend to change: Even the most solid relationships often struggle with the seismic shift that comes with introducing a baby into the family. Keep communicating with one another. Talk, talk, talk to each other so you both understand how you feel.
- Think about the mental load. The mental load is all the things that we need to do to keep our family and the house going. The mental load increases massively when we have a child, and it usually falls on the woman. Discuss how you are going to share it fairly.
- Becoming a parent means making many decisions. From sleeping arrangements, to whether you are going to breastfeed or not, how you will organize work and taking care of the baby, what kind of education you will choose…. the more in alignment you both are, the easier it will be.
I hope this information helps. I will leave you some more resources you may find useful and do not hesitate to get in touch if you want to discuss it further. I wish you all the very best.
Ana
Related articles:
Staying Connected as a Couple When You Become Parents
Leave a comment
Comments
Cristo
2025-07-29 12:20:59
Amazing, thank you so much for this blog.
Pia Satrustegui
2025-04-25 07:23:36
Hola Ana,
Qué fantástico artículo y que buenos consejos. Ha sido de una gran ayuda. Un abrazo muy fuerte
Qué fantástico artículo y que buenos consejos. Ha sido de una gran ayuda. Un abrazo muy fuerte
Dr. Ana Aznar
2025-03-31 19:41:20
Qué ilusión tu mensaje, Pia! Gracias a tí por leernos.
Pia Satrustegui
2025-03-28 10:13:56
Querida Ana,
Maravilloso artículo sobre la serie Adolescentes y consejos de gran ayuda en una etapa tan complicada de nuestros hijos , tan desprotegidos frente a las nuevas tecnologías.Es una ayuda tremenda para nosotros. Muchas gracias
Maravilloso artículo sobre la serie Adolescentes y consejos de gran ayuda en una etapa tan complicada de nuestros hijos , tan desprotegidos frente a las nuevas tecnologías.Es una ayuda tremenda para nosotros. Muchas gracias
Armani
2025-03-06 09:31:35
This is ethically wrong and I don't think it's worth the damage it will ultimately cause to the relationship. And the issues it will cause for the one being spied on. Just don't do it.
Meghan
2025-02-07 21:26:19
Is there a printable version of the article? I am a school based mental health professional and would like to share it with parents.
J
2025-02-03 10:52:04
This is such a great writeup. I think too often we get caught in a rutt of trying to categorise everything. Our daily lives are kind of dictated by categories and labels, certainly in a digital world.
I'd imagine this is quite deteremental for a childs development in the long run as nothing stays the same forever, and we shouldn't really be making these categorisations, especially towards our children.
Just live life, sometimes you'll have to be the parent that's the shoulder to cry on. The week after you may have to raise your voice a little when everyone is in a rush and you're trying to get your children's shoes on.
Just balance it all out, don't be too self critical and pick up on what your child wants and needs.
Again, great writeup!
I'd imagine this is quite deteremental for a childs development in the long run as nothing stays the same forever, and we shouldn't really be making these categorisations, especially towards our children.
Just live life, sometimes you'll have to be the parent that's the shoulder to cry on. The week after you may have to raise your voice a little when everyone is in a rush and you're trying to get your children's shoes on.
Just balance it all out, don't be too self critical and pick up on what your child wants and needs.
Again, great writeup!
Dr. Ana Aznar
2024-09-13 12:51:46
Dear Robert,
Thank you so much for your comment. I totally get what you mean. It is always difficult to have kids living with you, wanting to support them and their parents but at the same time not wanting to step in anyone's toes. If there's anything we can do to support you and your family, please do not hesitate to get in touch with us.
Ana
Thank you so much for your comment. I totally get what you mean. It is always difficult to have kids living with you, wanting to support them and their parents but at the same time not wanting to step in anyone's toes. If there's anything we can do to support you and your family, please do not hesitate to get in touch with us.
Ana
Robert Eisenbart
2024-09-10 00:43:07
Great Article! I'm a retired FNP. Years ago I taught a STEP program to parents via family court cases. I now have a daughter and her man disciplining three children 4, 8, and 10. The 10 year old has ADHD and my personal diagnosis is she's also Oppositional/Defiant. I believe the OD came from harsh discipline. All they seem to do is punish and threaten physical punishment. They say positive reinforcement didn't work however they tried it for about 2 months and then went back to punishment. I can't reason with them as "they are the parents"!! is all I hear. They all live with me and have since the oldest was about 2. Sadly I can see the other 2 developing issues like anxiety and aggression as well. Trying to show them another side of adult supervision when I have them but frustrating.
Dr. Ana Aznar
2024-09-02 20:48:07
Really glad you found it useful! Thank you for being here and for your comment.
Ana
Ana
Dr. Ana Aznar
2024-05-17 09:55:58
Hi Donna,
sO great to have you here! Totally agree that Zara is great! What other topics would you like us to discuss?
Ana
sO great to have you here! Totally agree that Zara is great! What other topics would you like us to discuss?
Ana
Donna
2024-05-17 09:49:36
Love Zara’s ways of teaching for both parents & kids! Also so helpful. We want more!! (Please!) :D
Ana Aznar
2024-05-08 07:24:31
We are glad you found the content useful! Many thanks for being here.
Ana
Ana
Cristoj
2024-04-09 18:20:19
Great article!!!
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